So, the Republican Party’s own version of Santa was just interviewed as one of the “10 Most Fascinating People of 2012,” though not the most fascinating. That honor was reserved for the philandering general himself, David Petraeus, who managed to get some strange while operating as the top spook in the U.S.
Though he couldn’t compete with that as the mere Governor of New Jersey and a boringly loyal husband, Chris Christie sat down for a one-on-one with Barbara Walters as a runner-up fascinator. Naturally, she attempted to assess his suitability for a Presidential run in 2016. It is indeed looking more and more like Chris may be in line for grooming as the next Republican dud to take the fall while nobly carrying the banner of RINO-cerouship to its predictable conclusion.
Christie assured Barbara that his weight will not be a problem should he assume the office of President. After all, he’s shown plenty of get up and go in the wake of Hurricane Sandy:
“I think people watched me for the last number of weeks during Hurricane Sandy doing 18-hour days and getting back up the next day and still being just as effective in the job, so I don’t think that will be a problem.”
Hold on, Chris. Your weight may not be a problem, but what kind of example will it set? Has Michelle Obama not lectured us about healthy eating and Michael Bloomberg not tsk-tsked about transfats and large sodas? Now you tell us it will be cool to have a fat man in the White House chowing down on who knows what at all hours? Pulled pork? Thick-crust pizza with pepperoni? Krispy Kremes? (Will they be renamed “Christie Cremes” in your honor?)
And what about the Republican crown prince and heir apparent, Marco Rubio? Do you really expect him to run as your VP to pull in the Hispanic vote when he’s already launching his own campaign in the snows of Iowa? That’s “noive” as they say in Joisey, Chris. Better go back to the munchies because the Clinton machine will destroy both you and Rubio through relentless media sandbagging before you even get a chance to give another convention speech, much less run as the 2016 candidate. Don’t worry, another sacrificial Republican lamb will be urged forth–most likely a small-state governor nobody ever heard of with some kind of “diversity” creds– to do their duty and fall on the sword in the run-up to Hillary’s coronation.
Let us break it down for you, Chris. 2016 has been promised to Hill. She took a back seat to Obama in 2008 and accepted the Secretary of State gig on that promise. You can just stuff that whole freaking pizza down your throat if you think you and Mary Pat will ever be hosting a White House dinner. On the other hand, with your being so cozy with Obama and the Dems during Sandy and all, maybe President Hillary will appoint you to her cabinet. That is, if she really needs to keep a Court Jester around for laughs.